Mind Your Manner

    Those of you who watch sports or listen to sports talk on your radio have likely heard something about a former NFL player’s vicious attack upon his former employers.  He is angry about what he perceives to be the NFL’s unfair and hurtful treatment of its players over a wide spectrum of issues.  Each of his complaints and indictments was sent via Twitter.  From what I understand many of the arguments he makes are very valid and truly worthy of discussion.  So why isn’t anyone actually discussing them?  Because he began each of his tweets with a capitalized expletive while sprinkling many more throughout each tweet.  Now the only thing receiving any attention is the atrocious attitude and manner of the disgruntled former player. 

    Is in not interesting how the force of one’s argument or the validity of his points can quickly become of secondary importance, or of no importance at all, based upon the way he conducts himself when making them?  As I heard of the former players profanity laced tirade three verses from Proverbs came to my mind.  “A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls” (25:28), “A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back” (29:11), “If a wise man has an argument with a fool, the fool only rages and laughs, and there is no quiet” (29:9).  It is the fool, not the wise man, who feels the need for regular “venting.”  It is the fool, not the wise man, who must rage and “get it all out.”  Indeed, calmness of spirit is one of the defining characteristics of the wise. 

    As I think about this situation I cannot help but recall conversations Christians have been engaged in with each other and those who have not put on Christ.  I must confess that I am sometimes dumbfounded by the manner in which Christians speak, particularly when involved in a spiritual discussion.  This is especially true over social media sites (Facebook, etc).  How incongruous for a Christian who brazenly questions a person’s intelligence, honesty, motives, and spirituality to conclude by saying, “I love you and just want what’s best for you.” 

    Friends, far too many conversations between Christians and those who desperately need to be led to the truth and away from error end badly because the Christian behaved in a very unchristian manner throughout the discussion.  When someone disagrees with us it is not necessarily because they are dishonest, unintelligent, selfish, unloving, and unspiritual.  It could be that they are honestly mistaken and need someone to help guide them in a loving, compassionate manner.  It could even be that we are wrong and need to be taught the truth more correctly from Scripture.  Either way, it is next to impossible to get someone to seriously consider the truthfulness of one’s words when the manner in which they are spoken is insulting, condescending, and just plain mean.

    “Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person” (Colossians 4:6).  Paul’s statement encompasses not just our words, but the manner in which they are spoken.  Let’s make sure we are minding our manner.